God’s Cathedral::Chapter Four (Thomas VP)

Once the congregation had all cleared out, Lawson finds me piddling with a pen in his office, my head cradled in one hand, staring off into space.

“What’s eating ya, Thomas?” His voice startles me. I drop the pen and look up.

“Hmm? Oh, hey, just thinking about stuff.”

“Well, I figured that much.” He laughs and sits down in an old leather chair facing the desk. “Anything you want to talk about?”

“Well, I just don’t know what’s come over me. I mean you know me really well. Have I ever been forward with girls? Usually it takes me a long time to even pull together the courage to ask a girl anything.”

“True, but you’re growing up and probably more eager to find a wife so you’re able to risk a bit more.” Lawson leans back and crosses his leg. He sips on a cup of coffee left over from the reception.

“Maybe.” I pick up the pen again. I hesitate to tell my uncle about Sapphira. He won’t approve of me getting involved. He wants me association free so that I can work my butt off with the congregation. He’s a workaholic and expects the same from all of us. Of course, he already has his suspicions so maybe I should just be straight with him. I decide to go for full disclosure. “The first time I saw her, in class that day, something immediately drew me to her. Something more than her beauty. I don’t know why, she was rude to me, but I decided to stay and be friendly. I could tell she was annoyed with my persistent talking.

“Then I saw her at that piano place. I thought I’d just sip a beer, hid in the corner for a while, and soak up the atmosphere. Then I saw her and when those guys were pestering her I jumped at the chance to be the ‘hero’ for her. It’s so weird cause I am usually not like that. I usually avoid such confrontation, but it’s like I didn’t even think. I just acted.”

“It’s good you are breaking out of your shell, Thomas. Don’t be so worried about it. I am going to warn you though. If you like Sapphira you are going to have to be patient. She’s still pining for that no good ex-boyfriend of hers.”

“Who’s he? She mentioned something about a boyfriend when I met her the first time. She seemed annoyed by some memory that came to mind. I apparently wear the same cologne as him.”

“I hate to talk poorly about one of our church members, but I really do not like Austin. He’s a playboy. A frat guy who finds delight in manipulating others. He does it to guys and girls. I don’t see any of his lifestyle reflecting a desire to know Christ. He drinks a lot, or so it seems come Sunday morning. He tries to hide his hangovers but I’m no idiot. I was in college once. Sapphira has borne the brunt of his trash behavior. She’s sadly adapted to fit her perception of Austin’s ideal girl. She seems to think that they belong together. The past year has been rough. I fear that it is affecting her walk with God. “

I nod. I could sense the bitterness in her voice in class. She seemed to reject any genuine attention and kept me at an arm’s length that day. Her guard was down at the bar, but when her friends showed up, she was back on the defense. It showed all over her face.

“I haven’t had a serious talk with her.” I shrug it off to Lawson. I don’t want to worry him. “Well, aside from that conversation a few minutes ago when I thought I needed to explain to her why I was at the bar.”

“My advise to you is to just be polite and act like her Vicar. I don’t know if it would be wise for you to get involved with a church member unless you are certain about your feelings. Be her friend, that’s all she needs right now. She will  have to learn to move past her disappointment and lean on God. Maybe you can help her with that.”

“I’ll try. You know, I am trained to do that.” I smile, but it’s forced. I know it’s more important to be trained to help people spiritually, but right now I wish I had some sort of training for how to deal with broken hearted girls. I try to shake the new desire I feel for Sapphira and remind myself of my true purpose. Only God can truly mend her heart. I can only point her in the right direction.

“Sorry to change the subject, but I want to you to come on the calls with me this week. Then you can get an idea about how they usually go. You can eat with us today if you want.”

“Thanks. I’ll do that. I am not too eager to sit alone in my empty apartment.” At least the intensity of Lawson’s large family will distract me. The last thing I need right now is to be alone with my thoughts. And honestly, who refuses free food?